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【2021届广州市高三年级阶段训练】读后续写试题、参考范文及考生样卷

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试题



第二节读后续写(满分 25 分)

阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。

      “Ada! Milk!” Mama called.

      Milk. It was Ada’s turn to get it. Ada sighed and shut her first-aid book. Her head hurt from reading in the dim morning light, but how else was she going to learn?

      Ada tied the cow close to a tree. Somewhere down the mountain, some volunteer doctors were teaching medical skills to village nurses. Ada heard Betty drive off hours ago. “She should have taken me with her. She thinks I’m too young, but she’s wrong. I am already 16!” Ada thought.

      Ada carried the milk back to Mama, then wandered up the road. Roy, a village boy, had gotten a donkey, and some kids had gathered around to see it. Roy was always doing something to get attention. Like now: he was trying to stand on the animal’s bare back.

   “No wonder they don’t trust kids with anything important”, Ada thought, sighing. She had just turned away when she heard a thud and a few screams. Roy lay on the ground nearby moaning in pain. The donkey stood several meters away. “Roy!” The kids nearby ran towards him. “Get Betty,” one said. Ada shook her head. “Betty’s gone to the city.” The other kids seemed frozen in place.

      Ada ran to where Roy was lying. She dropped to her knees on the dusty road. “Roy! Can you hear me?” Roy moaned in agony. Ada saw that one of his legs was crooked, bent a little sideways between the knee and the ankle. A broken leg!

      She remembered what the first-aid book had said about broken legs: if there is no ambulance, straighten the bone before moving the victim. There certainly wouldn’t be any ambulance here. Ada looked back up the road. The other kids were still standing there, watching. “Victor!” Ada called to one of the boys. “Go get Roy’s mama, and find someone with a truck.” She turned to the others. “Give me your shirts. We need something to tie his leg with.”

注意:

1. 续写词数应为 150 左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Ada then found a strong stick, which she would use to keep his leg straight.

___________________________

The next day, Betty came to Ada’s home.

___________________________



解题分析




1. 准确解读故事背景和情节:

故事背景:故事发生在某个医疗条件落后的边远山区,主人公Ada 是一位16 岁的少女,她比同龄人成熟沉稳,对当护士救人有着深厚兴趣,并自觉阅读急救书籍获取相关知识。然 而,护士 Betty 却认为 Ada 年纪还小,不宜参与医疗培训。Ada 因此难过,不服气。(核心冲突)


故事发生:男孩 Roy 莽撞行事,在毛驴背上摔下来,摔断了腿。然而,周围没有能够实 施急救的医疗人员和医疗设备。(具体冲突)


故事发展:在其他孩子因护士 Betty 不在而不知所措时,Ada 沉着地检查 Roy 的伤势, 并根据急救书上的指示镇定地指挥孩子们协助她实施急救:她一边遣人去找 Roy 的母亲和 卡车(送 Roy 去山下的医院),一边吩咐男孩们把上衣脱下来,用于绑直固定 Roy 骨折的腿。


2. 合理接续上文情节,预测故事的结局:

故事高潮:

(续写段落一)根据前文内容以及两个段首句可判断,续写的第一段应围绕 Ada 如何解决具体冲突(有人需要急救)来展开,重要情节须包括:(1)Ada 对 Roy 进行简单必要的急救过程(可以通过动作、语言、表情、心理等细节描写,重点突显主人公的医者 仁心及急救过程的专业和有效,可穿插略写 Roy 的行为和感受);(2)简要交代 Roy 母亲的 到来及其合理的反应(如:安抚儿子,感谢 Ada 等);(3)简要交代 Roy 被卡车送去医院,暗示冲突得到及时解决(也可简单补充专业医生的评价等合理细节,但非必要细节)。


故事结局:(续写段落二)根据前文内容及故事结局的一般要求判断,续写的第二段应 围绕核心冲突(Ada 不被认可)的解决来展开,要回应前文 Betty 对 Ada 的不信任,描述 Betty 对 Ada 的态度转变:Ada 出色的急救表现赢得了 Betty 的赞赏和认可。故事核心冲突 最终得以圆满解决。


3. 表达得体、有效:

主要情节与细节描写的组织应详略得当,故事推进紧凑;句子间的逻辑连贯要清晰合理;细节的展开要与上文埋设的线索相吻合,不要节外生枝,过度拓展。接受符合故事发展的合 理结局。


参考范文



      Ada then found a strong stick, which she would use to keep his leg straight. She gently explained what she was going to do then carefully wrapped the shirts around Roy’s leg and the stick. Roy cried out in pain. “I know it hurts,” Ada said softly. “But this will hold it still until you get to the hospital.” When Ada was done, she looked up and saw Roy’s mama watching from a few meters away. Behind her was a neighbor in a pickup truck. When Ada stepped away, Roy’s mama ran over and held Roy’s face in her hands. “Thank you, Ada,” she said. Ada helped them lift Roy into the truck, then they drove down the hillside towards the hospital.

      The next day, Betty came to Ada’s home. “I heard what you did,” Betty said. “You kept your head in an emergency. That’s an important skill.” Ada’s face turned red. “I was afraid ...” Betty shook her head. “It’s OK for a nurse to be afraid, as long as she has a clear head. The volunteer doctors are coming tomorrow with vaccines. We need some more hands. Can you help?” “I’d love to.” Ada replied at once. “Come early, then. There is a lot to learn.” Ada smiled. “I’ll bring my first-aid book.”


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学生样卷、评分及点评

样卷一

建议评分:22-23 分

分析:

1.  内容:与前文融洽度较高,段落间的连贯性较强,描写丰富生动,结尾点题升华 。

2.  语言:用词较精准,能够使用丰富的词汇和语法结构,语言功底较好。


样卷二

最后一句是
I can have the resolve and determination of a superhero.


建议评分:21分

分析:

1.  内容:内容丰富,能够较好地达到写作目的,但是细节拓展有些过多,如做梦的细节,可以精简。

2.  语言:使用了较高级的词汇和语法结构,表达生动,但有些词如 maneuver 使用有一点偏。

3.  卷面:字距较小,比较密集,涂改较多,卷面可以更加整洁。


样卷三

建议评分:19 分

分析:

1.  内容:与前文融洽度不错,完成写作任务,细节丰富但还可以进一步精简,例如第一段可 以更快进入主题,第二段最后不必 worry about the milk。

2.  语言:能够使用较为丰富的词汇和语法结构,存在一点语法错误。


样卷四

建议评分:16-17 分

分析:

1.  内容:整体完整,但是存在一定的错误,第一段说把 Roy送到 victim 那里;第二段Ada 和Betty 反了,没有任何对话,也没有强调出 Betty 对她改观,情节比较平淡。

2.  语言:存在一定的语言错误,不影响整体理解。

3.  卷面:书写工整,较少涂改,卷面整洁美观。


样卷五

建议评分:16 分 

分析:

1.  内容:基本达成写作任务,个别细节不合理如“with great lucky…”,段间衔接合理,但可惜段内再分了段,不符合写作要求。

2.  语言:存在一定的词汇使用错误,不影响整体理解。

3.  卷面:字迹不够工整,有部分涂改。



样卷六

建议评分:13分

分析:

1. 内容:第一段内容尚合理,第二段内容偏移了主题,不完整,未能完全达到写作任务 。

2. 语言:能够运用一定的词汇和语法结构,语言错误不算特别多。


样卷七

建议评分:5 分

分析:基本不能完成任务。内容展开不了,应该是文章关键信息没有读太懂。







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